“The raw truth is we will always desperately want from other people what we fear we will never get from God. . . . Trying to please people won’t ultimately satisfy us or the other person, and it certainly doesn’t please God. . . . If I have a need and I demand it from someone, that’s a sign that I’ve crossed over into wanting from them what I should be seeking from God.”- Lysa TerKeurst
“I am the LORD, the God of all mankind. Is anything too hard for me?”- Jeremiah 32:27 (NIV)
As Lysa TerKeurst concludes Chapter 9 of Good Boundaries and Goodbyes, she stresses that we shouldn’t and ultimately cannot be an unlimited source of what another person needs. Because only God possesses an unlimited supply.
Certainly, God calls us to obey Him and love other people. However, God does not call us to obey every wish and whim of other people. Nor does God call us to demand that other people love us back. Or meet every need we have. Therefore, we must be confident that setting a boundary will help us. Otherwise, we’ll fear what the boundary will cost us.
Above all, Lysa notes, healthy, loving relationships don’t feel threatening, cruel, or implode if you draw a boundary. So, in this light, what do you fear about setting a boundary. For example, what parts of your fear are:
- legitimate?
- being driven by something you feel you must have from this person?
In addition, Lysa counsels, when you constantly say yes to this person you might get in the way of what God’s trying to accomplish in their life.
In conclusion, Lysa offers these words of encouragement:
“We know God created us with needs and He placed us in relationships. But, just like the sun, our relationships should be close enough to comfort us but not so close that they completely consume us. Lord, may it be so.”
Today’s question: When you feel inclined to please people rather than please God? Please share.
Tomorrow’s blog: “Memories – greatest treasures, sorrows”
