“One person has more bandwidth or capacity than another person. This is not a judgment on the value or dignity of either person; it’s just reality. People’s capacities may differ based on genetics, story, history, and current circumstances. . . . A glass can hold only so much, and so can we.”- Aundi Kolber
“If your only tool is a hammer, then every problem looks like a nail.”- Popular adage
Aundi Kolber concludes Chapter 2 of Strong Like Water as she stresses that a key part of growing strong like water involves becoming flexible and adaptable. Amazingly, Aundi notes, God designed us to be both!
Therefore, Aundi underscores, we need to honor the information of our bodies and respond with compassionate care. As a result, we respond accurately to the information in front of us. Thus, we don’t form rigid responses.
Hence, the author notes the utmost importance of heeding signals from our nervous system. Aundi writes:
“Among other things, these cues will tell us if our body is in or outside it’s window of tolerance. . . . The extent to which we feel connected to a sense of safety will be the extent to which our body will be able to come back into our window of tolerance and ultimately will inform the way we move along the flow of strength. . . .
As slow as this movement toward integrated strength may be, not a moment of your attention and care devoted to this work is lost — even if the journey ahead is long. For each of those moments communicates to your body that you are worthy of compassion and care.”
In conclusion, Aundi counsels, there’s no way to bypass reality. Because no healing can occur without our true selves. So, we honor our stories, our pain. And the actually flesh-and-blood realities we live with. We must begin here. Otherwise, grief will insist on taking over the whole house. And we don’t want to make our home inside grief.
Today’s question: How conscious are you of your bandwidth or capacity? Please share.
Tomorrow’s blog: “The heavy lifting – safety”
