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Dave Henning

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The pain of betrayal is relative

By Dave Henning / June 19, 2020

“The pain of betrayal is relative. . . . it depends on the degree of the betrayal.  After thinking about it for years, I came up with a little formula that helps me understand the pain caused by betrayal.  I think of it this way: The pain of betrayal equals the level of trust times […]

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Internalize the anger – what happens

By Dave Henning / June 18, 2020

“What I did was internalize the anger I felt against my friend.  And with it the shame of being fooled by him.  But you can’t bury emotions like that.  They’ll still come out.  But they will come out looking like something else.”- Phil Waldrep In Chapter 5 (“Pain”) of Beyond Betrayal, Phil Waldrep affirms his […]

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Process the grief of our loss

By Dave Henning / June 17, 2020

“We must process the grief of our loss; we must confront our denials and avoid letting ourselves become isolated.  It won’t happen all at once.  And it won’t happen in a perfect straight line.”- Phil Waldrep “There are some things in life over which God simply writes, ‘I’ll explain later.’ “- Corrie ten Boom Phil […]

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Our unconscious minds – the shame trap

By Dave Henning / June 16, 2020

“Shame is . . . so powerful that our unconscious minds will do almost anything to protect us from experiencing it.  That can lead to falling into the shame trap of denial and isolation, as if those will protect us.  Instead they have a way of delaying our healing. . . .  In a very […]

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The immanence of God – closer than close

By Dave Henning / June 15, 2020

“God is bigger than big, but that’s a little intimidating if left by its lonesome.  The good news?  There is a theological counterbalance to that bigness.  It’s called the immanence of God.  God is closer than close.”- Mark Batterson, Whisper This is what the Sovereign LORD, the Holy One of Israel, says: “In repentance and […]

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A battlefield of contradicting information

By Dave Henning / June 14, 2020

“We live in a battlefield of contradicting information, mystifying actions by people with mixed motives, and having to live with inequities and pain we did nothing to cause or deserve.  Though we may have given our lives to God individually, we are still in an enemy battleground where our rules for fairness don’t always apply […]

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Charismatic, friendly, altruistic – betrayers??

By Dave Henning / June 13, 2020

“Betrayers are charismatic, friendly, and can appear altruistic, generous, and loving.  They play the part of being a good, moral person who is above reproach so that nothing interferes with their secret life.”- Phil Waldrep “As soon as Judas the bread, Satan entered into him.  So Jesus told him, ‘What you are about to do, […]

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Voice of reason and right – drowned out

By Dave Henning / June 12, 2020

“Ultimately, selfishness drowns out both their (betrayer’s) love for others and the voice of reason and right.  I think every betrayal, in its own way, is an allegiance to something other than love, other than the person they are hurting. . . .  It’s a crisis of character.”- Phil Waldrep As Phil Waldrep continues Chapter […]

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Hurting another person vs. betrayer’s desire

By Dave Henning / June 11, 2020

“In a situation that presents a trade-off between something a betrayer wants and hurting another person, the betrayer is willing to trade in that relationship to get what they want.  They choose gratification over love.  But truthfully, it’s not really a choice for them. . . .  All they see is what they want.”- Phil […]

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A devastating blow to your trust

By Dave Henning / June 10, 2020

“Betrayal is a devastating blow to your trust in a person or group of persons.  Your feelings and reactions are real, raw, and natural.  Admit your disbelief and anger.  Start processing them in a healthy way.”- Phil Waldrep Phil Waldrep concludes Chapter 2 of Beyond Betrayal as he talks about the last four actions that […]

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Walk through betrayal with someone else

By Dave Henning / June 9, 2020

“You need to walk through [your betrayal] with someone else: a friend, a counselor, a pastor, someone . . . .  Especially if you want to heal from it sooner rather than later.”- Phil Waldrep ” ‘In your anger do not sin.’  Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and […]

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Thought life taken over by betrayal

By Dave Henning / June 8, 2020

“The betrayal takes over our thought life. . . .  It can destroy our faith in trust and love.  Where we saw good before, now we see only uncertainty and darkness.  The heat of our anger, our shame, and our desire to get even rises to feverish levels.  We see everything around us not through […]

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