“Let’s fight for joy. . . . But let’s surprise the world and also be sad and angry and scared when it’s fitting — not because our God isn’t big enough to conquer those things, but because He’s big enough to hold those things. Our faith is big enough to hope in the midst of […]
“The moment we learn how to feel our feelings and not run from them or judge them, we free up all that energy we were pouring into not feeling them all those years. We’re then able to live life as it was meant to be lived, complete with highs and lows and joy and grief […]
“Eugene Peterson wrote so beautifully that the aim of the person of faith is . . . to live as deeply and thoroughly as possible — to deal with the reality of life, discover truth, create beauty, act out love.’ Yes, this is living. This is the redemptive work of God through us on earth. […]
“Now, we nearly all have strings that, even when they’re untangled, we’d still rather forget. But when they’re untangled, we can work with this thing. What was just a mangled mess of unusable Christmas lights . . . becomes something beautiful and life-giving and connected and has the hint and promise of connection between us […]
“Here’s the truth: That sweater [of unfelt feelings] needs to come unraveled, because it’s keeping exactly nobody warm. . . . Instead of thinking of those unfelt feelings as a nice, comfy sweater, better to think of them as a knotted rope hanging around your neck. Only good will come from untangling it.”- Jennifer Allen […]
“Many times we emotionally hit a wall because . . . our bodies are broken and they just don’t function how we wish they could. Because it is all so broken. But the Bible issues hope for the brokenness. . . . God isn’t afraid of the brokenness, and we shouldn’t be either. He has […]
“Faith isn’t summoned, it grows. It grows because of a relationship, not your willpower. . . . A relationship with God — it changes everything. He untangles the chaotic knots in our souls — but probably not in the way we expected. . . . He untangles the knots through seasons of tears and raw […]
“Sure, there is a time and place for follow-up questions, suggested solutions, and actions you or the other person might take. But generally that isn’t what people actually need. Most people know the right answer. We don’t have a knowledge problem. The problem is that we feel unsafe and unloved and unseen. We won’t move […]
“It’s a good idea to view [expressing your feelings] as a season of building a healthier relationship with your emotions and not as a landing spot where you will forever name every insignificant mood or feeling flying through your head.”- Jennifer Allen “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.”- Galatians 6:2 […]
“Emotional acceptance can be a particularly powerful strategy of emotional regulation — it can help you feel better, partly because you don’t perpetuate your negative emotions. The goal shouldn’t be to get rid of or stifle all emotions. It’s to try to have them to the right degree and in the right context and to […]
“Whatever the reason, there will be times when doing the earnest work of feeling just isn’t the right step for you to take. We all have seasons like these, and my advice whenever you encounter one is to simply let the feeling drift by. . . . If you find yourself in survival mode for […]
“Emotional granularity is the ability to describe your emotional state using nuanced words and phrases instead of general ones. . . . The more specifically you are able to describe what is going on inside you, the more flexible you will become in the face of that emotion.”- Jennifer Allen Jennifer Allen concludes Chapter 9 […]