When we minimize pain, we minimize forgiveness

By Dave Henning / April 13, 2017

“When we minimize pain, we also minimize forgiveness.  And when we minimize forgiveness, we minimize healing.”- Esther Fleece

“The blood of Jesus doesn’t give you amnesia.  My past happened.  But Jesus gives you a life beyond your past.”- Christine Caine, author

As Esther Fleece concludes Chapter 9 of No More Faking Fine, she asserts there’s no way to achieve the end result of forgiveness without lament.  In fact, Esther observes, the suffering necessary to fully forgive might very well hurt more than the original abuse.

Therefore, Ms. Fleece describes forgiveness in the context of lament.  Forgiveness is:

  • a process of releasing our laments to God
  • feeling the weight of what someone did to cause you harm
  • taking this offense directly to God
  • telling Him exactly how you feel
  • lamenting it, not forgetting it, in order to move forward
  • a practice and process that unfolds in layers over time

Furthermore, in the practice and process of forgiveness we call out the offense to God, rather than using gossip and slander to harm our offenders.  Ms. Fleece reminds us:

“There is not an offense we have experiences that Jesus has not felt Himself.  Yet if He was able to fully forgive while He hung on the cross, His Spirit can help us also to forgive.”

As you pass through lament rather than skipping over it, God lifts your burden of resentment.  You begin to birth something new- something that feels like freedom.

In conclusion, Esther notes, the Hebrew word for “repent”- nacham– is interchangeable with the Hebrew word for “comfort.”  Thus, when we’re moved to repent, God moves with compassion.  Thus, Esther writes, “lamenting ‘forgive me, Lord’ changes our hearts and puts the emphasis back on Him, where it belongs.”

Today’s question: During your desert, land between time, how have you tried to minimize pain?  Please share.

Tomorrow’s blog: “Our old coping mechanisms”

About the author

Dave Henning

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