“Forgiveness is both a decision and a process. Each offense requires a marked moment of releasing the unforgiveness that threatens to hold us hostage and hold us back from moving forward. . . . your decision to forgive the facts of what happened is done in a specific moment in time. But the process of working through all the emotions from the impact of what happened will likely happen over time.” – Lysa TerKeurst
Lysa TerKeurst concludes Chapter 4 of Forgiving What You Can’t Forget as she notes that she’s starting to see triggers in a new light. Certainly, we find triggers hard and terribly inconvenient. Furthermore, we wish triggers = a one-and-done situation. But, Lysa posits, maybe repeated triggers reflect God’s mercy.
As a result, Lysa sees several reasons why the ability to attend to the unfolding impact says, weeks, and years afterward is a grace of God. First, this process enables you to get better about sitting in the space between the feeling and the reaction. As you sit with that feeling, you take time to sort it out. Also, you improve your ability to discern what the feeling is and what to do about it. You sort through what’s true and not true about that feeling.
In conclusion, Lysa explains why hurt presents an epic moment of opportunity. She writes:
“For now, I realize the hurt passed through them to me is a more epic moment of opportunity than I ever realized. That hurt can pass through me and be unleashed on others. Or, it can be stopped by me right here, right now. The world can become a little darker or a little brighter by the choice I make in this moment. . . . Another act of forgiveness means even more healing and clarity. Another brushstroke of beauty slowly replacing the darkness with hues of healing light.”
Today’s question: Can you point to a specific marked moment of releasing unforgiveness? Please share.
Tomorrow’s blog: “Flounders like a fish out of water”