All posts in " betrayal "

Obligated to discuss betrayal details?

By Dave Henning / June 27, 2020

“As you begin to process your anger and other emotions, remember that you’re not obligated to discuss with anyone the details of your story.  I know sometimes it’s a temptation. . . .  The attention you receive can feel good for a while.  But you must remind yourself often that not everyone asking about what […]


The paralysis of analysis – falling into it

By Dave Henning / June 22, 2020

“One of the things I’ve seen in those I’ve counseled is that, because the trauma brings the betrayal back to them over and over again, they fall into the paralysis of analysis.  They want to know every detail of the betrayal.  Knowing the details lets them blame the other person.  They want to determine the […]


Internalize the anger – what happens

By Dave Henning / June 18, 2020

“What I did was internalize the anger I felt against my friend.  And with it the shame of being fooled by him.  But you can’t bury emotions like that.  They’ll still come out.  But they will come out looking like something else.”- Phil Waldrep In Chapter 5 (“Pain”) of Beyond Betrayal, Phil Waldrep affirms his […]


Walk through betrayal with someone else

By Dave Henning / June 9, 2020

“You need to walk through [your betrayal] with someone else: a friend, a counselor, a pastor, someone . . . .  Especially if you want to heal from it sooner rather than later.”- Phil Waldrep ” ‘In your anger do not sin.’  Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and […]


Thought life taken over by betrayal

By Dave Henning / June 8, 2020

“The betrayal takes over our thought life. . . .  It can destroy our faith in trust and love.  Where we saw good before, now we see only uncertainty and darkness.  The heat of our anger, our shame, and our desire to get even rises to feverish levels.  We see everything around us not through […]


A violation of trust – betrayal defined

By Dave Henning / June 7, 2020

“Betrayal is a violation of trust.  The more we love the person that betrays us . . . the more it hurts when they break our trust.  The more you love or have invested in that person, the more earth-shattering their betrayal.”- Phil Waldrep (emphasis author’s) In Chapter 2 (“Trust”) of Beyond Betrayal, Phil Waldrep […]


Betrayal = selfishness of the betrayer

By Dave Henning / June 6, 2020

“Betrayal is very personal and affects us at a deep, emotional level.  But it says more about the selfishness of the betrayer than it says about you.  Your goal is to prevent the betrayal and the betrayer from defining who you are.  Be proactive — not reactive.”- Phil Waldrep Phil Waldrep concludes Chapter 1 of […]


The shock of betrayal – processing your feelings

By Dave Henning / June 5, 2020

“Being betrayed is often a shock.  The emotions we feel associated with it can be overwhelming.  In processing your feelings to work towards healing, it’s good to have an outlet for those feelings.  You must find a way to look at things more objectively.”- Phil Waldrep “Even my close friend in whom I trust, who […]


The skipper on deck = Christ

By Dave Henning / December 19, 2019

” . . . the skipper is Christ.  He’s on deck.  He deserves all the glory and praise.  We serve below deck — keeping the work moving forward by faithfully rowing and diligently serving.”- Charles Swindoll “So look at Apollos and me (Paul) as mere servants of Christ who have been put in charge of […]


True forgiveness of those who wrong us

By Dave Henning / September 5, 2017

“True forgiveness of those who wrong us demonstrates more than anything else whether or not you are serious about walking with God on a deeper level.”- Os Hillman As Os Hillman continues Chapter 11 of The Joseph Calling, he underscores that times exist when people must do things out of pure obedience.  In other words, […]


If you don’t pick up your cross

By Dave Henning / September 4, 2017

“If you don’t pick up your cross, you will be crushed by it.”- Jim Caviezal, actor, Passion of the Christ In Chapter 11 (“Stage Four: The Cross”) of The Joseph Calling, Os Hillman asserts that every leader must experience the cross through betrayal.  Specifically, Os refers to betrayal as God’s graduate course for leaders.  Yet, […]

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